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Now you might think, “Well, what’s the big deal with this?” Think about it. What happens when you see, touch, taste, smell or hear something pleasing, …like tasting chocolate or smelling a sizzling steak, like hearing wind chimes or a favorite piece of music? Do you ever want more? Do you try to hold on to that pleasantness?

On the flip side, what happens when you experience something unpleasant? Like hearing traffic, or not getting what you deserve, or feeling pain in your body, or noticing the negative signs of aging? Are you inclined to be judgmental or take offense and get aggressive towards others or yourself?

Most of us are prone to some of these reactions, at least upon occasion. However, we need not spend so much time being tangled up in it. We can train ourselves to see differently and therefore respond differently.

One benefit comes when we begin to see how our struggling to control life inflicts unnecessary stress on ourselves. We see how much time we spend trying to get comfortable and how the degree of our stress is related to the narrowness of our comfort zone.

Another benefit comes when we realize all experiences arise due to multiple causes and conditions (some of which we have put into motion through our thoughts, words and deeds, but many of which we have not). We can begin to stop taking the inevitable changes or vicissitudes of life so personally.

We can challenge our belief that our happiness is dependent on experiencing pleasure, gain, fame and praise, because we see that these conditions come and go no matter how hard we work or how good our intentions might be. We see how we set ourselves up for great disappointment by taking refuge in what may bring us temporary happiness and well-being, such as prestige, money, possessions or the right relationship or job or place to live. All of these conditions are impermanent and subject to change at any moment, so why bank on them for our happiness?

By not taking the comings and goings of life so personally we also interrupt the tendency to be obsessed with ourselves. We can feel the truth of how inter-woven this web of life is and that we have a place in it. We have in our hands and hearts the power to cause harm and the power to live with reverence for life, to live a life of peacefulness and wise, compassionate action.

This is the dharma of connection. Mindfulness meditation can cultivate a mind and heart that knows this truth and supports us to live from it.